Begin Anew
by FearlessLeader-Leonardo
Summary: In a flash, all I could remember seeing was my father being sliced open. His form falling towards me as all I could do was cradle him securely in my arms. Shaking with despair/sadness, I barely processed the blade coming towards me till it was too late. AU - Leo/April in 2012 universe with a bit of angst in the beginning.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Prologue

 _ **A/N: So! This is my first ever TMNT Fanfic, I hold no bars when it comes to my fandoms(Especially when they involve our Fearless Leader XD ) At any rate, this is an AU world that ties HEAVILY on the Nick 2012 version of the show. As is, I love Leo/April and even though Apriltello is another one of my favorite couples but I've loved Leo/April ever since the 80's show and beyond so you see my love.**_

 _ **At any rate, in this fanfic it will get dark in the beginning. Just warning everyone since I've placed Leo in a very dark place.**_

 _ **If it's too OOC for you to handle then that's fine, but I am trying my best to emulate how he would feel in this version of the show if this happened to him. So I apologize if it does seem a bit OOC. But anyway, here is the real Summary that I could fit into.**_

 _ **Title: Begin Anew**_

 _ **Show: Ninja Turtles or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles**_

 _ **Couples: Leo/April – heavily centric ; Mikey/Renet – subtly hinted ; Raph/Mona Lisa – subtly hinted**_

 _ **Rating: T – almost M at certain points with how graphic I can get in terms of violence. For sexual scenes, ah…not too confident on my sex scenes. Especially between turtles and humans so don't expect any from me**_

 _ **Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst(at first)**_

 _ **Summary: All I remember is the sight of my father falling, blood trailing out like a waterfall as I can only stand there in utter shock. The utter satisfaction in her eyes made my skin crawl as all I can do is watch as she raised her blade to finish the job…eliminating me as well.**_

 _ **Au with Leo/April**_

 _ **Language: English**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or the very idea of it in general. Because if I did own it, I would've paired these two up a LONG time ago**_

 _Silence…_

 _I can never get use to this deafening silence that lingers in the air…..It scares me…_

 _Granted, I've lived in this silence for the past six months, I honestly should be use to this by now. But even I can't deny it. The familiar sounds of the cars zooming by up above my head, slowly comforting me throughout the 20 years of my life. Leaky pipes from the housing up above my head could still be heard, the symphony of pitter pattering slowly lullabying me to sleep on my worst nights were now gone._

 _Hearing my brother's shuffling around outside my room despite the fact that we were supposed to be in bed was now absent, making the heavy feeling in my stomach increase as loneliness slipped in. Everything I've come to associate with home was gone; gone and replaced with…silence._

 _Even though I say silence, I knew that it wasn't completely true. There were distinct sounds coming from beyond the thin walls of the small abandoned house that I resided in. The sound of crickets chirping in the night sky, the sound of the small creek that was towards the edge of the property could be heard._

 _It was as if this small little piece of silence was in its own little world, it was unreal even….._

My mind completely filled with an array of both silence and activity forced myself to slip back into the conscious mind, my eyes softly opening to reveal darkness. Blinking slowly to try and wake myself up despite barely getting any sleep at all, caused me to let out a soft chuckle of dry humor at the mere thought of getting any kind of decent amount of sleep in the slightest. My right hand, having been rested on my thighs softly found their way to the futon that I had laid out on the hard wood floor in a desperate attempt to gain some sleep.

Using my hand to brace myself, I slowly shift and push myself into a sitting position. My mind and body still groggy from the small amount of sleep that I had managed to get as a loud yawn left my lips. My right hand clutches onto the rough fabric of the thin sheet that covered the futon, biting my chapped lips to try and help.

As I shift towards the side of the futon, I can feel my legs and back cracking from the movement as I sigh a bit in relief. The stiff muscles slowly waking up despite the exhausted state they were in at the time, eagerly looking forward to the early morning exercises and stretches that would follow after morning meditation.

"Maybe I overdid it with the firewood." My voice comes out in a soft but croaky tone, not use to speaking out loud as I clear it with a cough or two. My mind completely occupied with clearing my throat that I don't recognize the sound of wind hitting the walls of my "bedroom" till a strong gust of wind hits. Cocking my head softly to the side, I could distinctly pick up on the sounds of pitter pattering of rain following soon afterwards.

"Another surprise storm." I mutter softly to myself, as if someone was going to respond to that being the only one in this small home. Not looking forward to being cooped up indoors, I sigh softly as I hang my head forward. My left hand subconsciously starting to rub my face, moving from my nose and working its way down in an attempt to wake myself up.

Mapping out every inch of my face, I could feel myself tense up as I already know where my hand is going too. My right hand already clutching the fabric on the futon as my stomach started knotting up at the inevitable reality that I was trying to come to grips with. The smooth green skin slowly became bumpy and coarse, as if it had come from someone else. My three fingered hand stroking and caressing the deep scars that were on my eyes.

My eyelids were open and I could feel my iris but, just like what happened six months ago; I couldn't see my hand. Staring blankly into the deep darkness as a pitiful sound of despair slips out, knowing that there wasn't anything I could do to change it. I had made my decision and I had to live with the consequences, the consequences of being forever alone and being the cause of the tragedy that had befallen my entire family.

"N-No….No I won't cry….I won't." my voice coming out in gasped breaths, as if it was taking everything in my power to not cry. I had not right to cry, to be pitied, to be shown any form of kindness in the slightest. My shoulders were betraying me, shaking and trembling with despair and anguish as images flashed through my subconscious.

Completely overtaking my senses as my hands twitched into tight balls of fists for a sec before relaxing as my desperate attempts to not cry failing slowly but surely. It isn't too long before I can't hold back anymore and the tears slip down my eyes, allowing them to flow freely as if a dam had broken.

Who am I kidding, it was like a dam. A dam full of anguish, guilt and utter loneliness at the fact that I wasn't able to see my family again, that going back to them would mean utter scorn and rejection thrown my way.

And I deserved it.

I deserved every bit of their hurt and rejection, all because of the mistakes that I've done six months ago. The scarring on my eyes were proof of it as I bent my head back, the words that I wanted to say to my family coming out before I had a chance to stifle them. My hands clutching onto the sheets and futon tightening with each word that slipped out as I sobbed.

"I-I'm…I'm sorry Raph…I'm sorry Donnie….and I'm sorry Mikey." I stuttered softly, the memories of my brothers flashing through my mind as the trembles and guilt welled up faster and faster. Completely overtaking my mind as my self-control crumbled before me, leaving me sobbing like a broken child that did something so horribly wrong.

Each time I apologized, my mind kept flashing back to watching my father being mercilessly killed in front of me. Being killed by the one person we both believed in, the one we put so time and effort into saving. Only to watch my father slowly dying in my arms, my heart shattering as I can barely process the blade coming towards me until it's too late. The blade cutting through my eyes as my vision was blurred by a thick waterfall of blood. The cries of pain came spiraling out of my lips, clutching my eyes as I tried desperately to push the pain away as I cradled my father's limp body.

The memories…still fresh in my mind as I sat there. Crying for what seemed like forever as hitching breaths leaving my lips as I bit my lips to try and calm down. All I can muster out is apologies, apologies that were never spoken out loud.

"I'm sorry…. Sensei. I'm so sorry." My breathing hitching in utter shame and disgust for myself slowly building up as I utter one last apology before falling back down on my futon. The mere thought of waking up to face another day of isolation falling on deaf doors as I curled up into a ball softly. "Karai…..please forgive me." I say in a soft whisper, burying my face into the worn pillow as I softly slipped in unconsciousness and into a restless slumber.

 _ **A/N: What have I done? I've done a horrible thing lol but yet, I don't feel ashamed. Because this is just the dark before the light!**_

 _ **Anyway, please read and review and I will update as soon as I can! Thank you very much!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **A/N: Yes, I'm back! Work has been murder on me, barely giving me anytime to write or type up anything. I have a job that is so boring that my main source of entertainment is thinking about this fanfic endlessly. Mulling over different concepts and wondering how they would mold and expand into each other, it's ridiculous how boring my job is ugggghh. Sorry for the work rant but I figured that I'd explain on my lack of update, in this chapter its basically giving you a glimpse of what is to come. I hope that you all enjoy this and that I can provide you some sort of entertainment.**

 **Summary: All I remember is the sight of my father falling, blood trailing out like a waterfall as I can only stand there in utter shock. The utter satisfaction in her eyes makes my skin crawl, all I could do is watch as she raised her blade to finish the job…. eliminating me. Leo/April completely centered AU**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Ninja Turtles or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, all of it owned by Viacom and Nickelodeon.**

Leo didn't know how long he stayed in bed, time seeming to morph together in a blur as the steady stream of rain and thunder rumbled throughout the air outside. The torrential downpour was enough to make Leo's blank sapphire eyes slowly open, blinking the bit of sleep back into his subconscious mind. Groggily, Leo shifted softly as his entire body cracked into place again as he sat up. Cocking his head slightly, Leo could make out how the shingles were clanging and slightly ringing.

"New entry to the to-do-list; fix roof and replace shingles." Leo mumbled softly to himself, letting out a breath of held air as his shoulders slumped. He knew that there was so much work that needed to be done around here but yet didn't even bothering moving to a better equipped area. Deep down, Leo had grown attached to this place as his longing for a stable home had quickly clung to this rundown shack.

"No time like the present I guess." Leo said softly, holding his breath as he carefully lifted himself up from his bed and started to do his stretches. His limbs and bones cracking into place, letting out a soft grunt every now and then.

The stretches themselves helped loosen his body up and brought a small smile to Leo's lips, the connection to his family was still there. It was quite funny how doing these simple stretches helped him immensely in such a small way. Taking a deep breath and shifting himself to sit down on the floor, Leo allowed his mind to set as his closed his eyes and tried to slip into a meditating state.

It didn't take long before Leo's mind started to wander, his eyelids tensing as a soft grunt slipped out. He could feel his gut starting to twist into a knot, uncomfortable memories soon flooding into his mind.

" _Karai! Stop! That's your father!"_

" _SENSEI!"_

" _Y-You…. you killed him. You killed your own father-! HOW COULD YOU KILL HIM?! HE JUST WANTED YOU TO COME HOME!"_

"No!" Leo cried out loudly, gasping wildly as he snapped awake and leaned forward to clutch his head as the memories struggled to surface and overtake him. His blank eyes staring wildly at the floor, curled up in a slight fetal position. Struggling to maintain control, Leo forced the memories back into his mind and tried to calm the tremors wracking his form. "Not now, not now." Leo mumbled softly to himself over and over again, a little mantra he used to calm himself down.

Slowly but surely, Leo allowed himself to relax as he tipped his head back a little and looked up at the ceiling blankly. Not being able to see it was disheartening but strangely enough, reassuring. A weak chuckle left his lips at the irony of it all as a smirk worked its way across Leo's lips before allowing himself to relax his shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, Leo gathered himself to his feet as his right hand drifted to the wall in front of him and to use it as a support. The old wooden panel felt soothing to Leo's hand as he awkwardly shuffled out of the small room and down the hallway that lead the way towards the living room.

He barely made it half way down the hallway before his 'ninja senses' kicked in and he almost slammed himself up against the wall, clinging to it. Stunned at first, Leo quickly remembered as he sighed softly, his head tipping down towards the floor.

 _I completely forgot about the hole in the floor._ Leo thought sarcastically in his mind, still remembering when he had stepped there while carrying firewood from downstairs. From the combined weight of his body and the huge armload of firewood, his leg busted through the rotted floor and practically pulled him down through the floor. In the process, his right leg had been cut up a bit and the firewood Leo was carrying rained down around him and nicked his shoulder and arms.

He considered himself lucky that he hadn't sustained any long last injuries from that accident, not needing another injury to heap onto what had happened. Silently shuffling down the hallway, Leo stepped into the living room with his hand still on the wood paneling. Bracing himself, Leonardo shifted further inside as he slowly worked his way over to the old couch and carefully sat down on it.

Drawing his legs up onto the couch, Leo wrapped his arms around them while laying his chin on top of his knees. The comforting position helped him relaxed a little a loud rumble of thunder ripped through the air, a chill going down his spine as Leonardo arched a bit. From his position on the couch, Leo could feel some drafts slipping in through the worn paneling as Leonardo shuddered at the cold air hitting his frame.

His shoulders slumped slightly at his inability to find them as well as patch them up without the proper materials needed. At least, without having to resort to stealing and with how much trouble he was having with meditation; Leonardo didn't want to risk himself getting injured even more then he was. "At least it's still warm out for now." Leo said softly to himself, knowing that fall was just around the corner and that he'd have to prepare himself for a long, cold winter.

His blank sapphire eyes roamed around blindly, knowing that it wouldn't do him any good but the habit itself still wouldn't wear off as Leonardo closed his eyes lightly. Trying to purge his mind of the inevitable reality of a cold winter and without a means of preparing himself, a loud growl ripped through the air as Leo grimaced. His right hand drifted down towards his plastarn, feeling the loud rumbles coming from his stomach vibrating like crazy.

"When did I last eat?" Leonardo asked himself softly, trying to think back as he shifted through the last couple of weeks before letting out a soft sound of confirmation. "Two days sounds about right, I had some potatoes." Leo mumbled gently, the very memory itself caused his stomach to growl in both frustration and hunger. A light chuckle slipped past Leonardo's lips, finding it funny as the loud rumbling of the storm outside reminded him of what was bothering him. His eyes narrowed slightly in concern, knowing that there was a high probability of his vegetable garden being destroyed.

"Please," Leonardo mumbled softly, tightening his hold on his legs as if it was going to help in anyway. "Please be okay." Leo said in a soft whisper, another loud rumble of thunder ripped through the air as a flash of lightning followed shortly afterwards. The lightning startled the turtle as he snapped his head up, shuffling himself off the couch and awkwardly made his way into the small kitchen nearby. Leonardo's hand shifted around on the cabinets before eventually finding a small harvest of canned goods, encircling one of the cans.

Grimacing, Leo pulled out his tanto from his wraps and popped a hole in the can large enough in case any thing solid was in the can. "Man do I miss pizza." Leo said with a wry smile, the very image itself made his stomach growl even louder at the thought as he tipped his head back with the can pressed to his mouth.

The feeling of something chunky slid into his mouth as Leo's eyes closed tightly, forcing the food to go down as he awkwardly munched on it. "Mixed Fruit," Leo said softly, the taste of pineapples heavily present on his lips as he tipped his head back again. "Heh, didn't think I had any of this left." He mumbled lightly with a chuckle, forcing the food down. He knew that his stash of canned goods was running low, it wasn't that hard to see.

His hand tightened around the slowly empty can as Leonardo knew that eventually, he would have to go into the closest village nearby and steal from the canned food drive. Which would be his first mission in the whole six months of isolation that Leonardo put himself in. He couldn't help but feel a small ounce of pride in himself for having lasted this long without any need to scavenge or forage, having painstakingly rationed them out to the best of his capabilities.

Carefully shuffling from the kitchen and back to the living room, Leonardo softly sat down on the couch again while placing the can of fruit on the floor next to where he sat. Curling his legs back up onto the couch and wrapping his arms around them, Leo jumped softly at the sudden cry of thunder ripping through the air. His shoulders tense a bit as Leonardo shuddered at another draft slipping in at that moment, pulling his legs and body closer together as he calmly waited for the storm to pass outside.

 _ **TMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNT**_

Leonardo softly pushed the front door to the house open, carefully making his way down the decrepit and old steps that lead to the ground. Taking in a whiff of fresh air, Leo smiled softly as the sun's rays hit his green skin as it warmed up his body. From where the sun was positioned on his skin, Leonardo guessed that it was late afternoon as he took another deep breath of air.

His shoulders relaxing, Leo shifted to his right as he headed towards the side of the house where his makeshift vegetable garden was. Although the land was already set up for planting, Leo just had to tend to the weeds and clean it up a bit. Thankfully, Leo didn't need to use his sight to garden since it was just a matter of feeling when and where to plant and all of it was due to touch and smell.

His feet touched the starting point of the garden as Leo couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in his gut, his head drifting down towards where it had laid. Licking his dry lips, Leonardo carefully knelt down and felt around as he processed what had happened.

All of his emotions started to bottle up at the realization, hot tears starting to well up as Leo clenched the destroyed vegetables in his fist. His fist trembling as Leonardo struggled to control his anger as his eye lids squeezed together tightly.

 _Calm down! Calm. Down._ Leo thought to himself, getting a hold of himself as he let out a deep breath. Lifting his head up, Leo tilted it to see if he could hear anything out of the ordinary before slowly standing up. _Okay…I should check to see if there is a tarp somewhere. Maybe in that shed nearby? I hope that there are some seeds left…otherwise I might have to take a trip into the village sooner than expected_ Leo thought to himself, biting his lip at the thought before awkwardly shifting over towards where the shed was supposed to be.

His feet shuffled across the ground, mentally counting to himself how far away the shed was to the garden. Leonardo quickly caught himself as he almost tripped over a stick on the way, his ninja skills kicking in at the right time as he silently cursed to himself.

"Eighty-eight, eighty-nine, ninety," Leo counted softly, his feet shuffling slightly in front of him as he held his hands out to catch himself. "Ninety-one, ninety-oh! Okay so its ninety-one and a half steps from the garden to the shed." Leonardo smiled softly at his foot and hands touched the side of the decrepit old shed. His hand rummaging around on the outskirts of the shed to access the door before letting out a soft sound of joy as his hand encircled the handle.

Carefully prying the latch off of the lock, Leo slowly opened it as dust came out and caused a few sneezes to slip out. "R-Really…really need to dust this place out." Leonardo coughed softly, waving his free hand out in front of him to clear the dust away. His hand drifted from the handle to the inside of the door as Leo's foot felt around before finding the step, carefully putting his weight on it as he hoisted himself up into the shed.

His head shifting left to right to inspect the area even though Leo couldn't see, it was still an attempt to try and get a grasp of his surroundings. Leonardo's hands flitted around, trying to inspect everywhere in the tiny space, coughing every so often to clear his throat of the dust clouds. Shifting further inside, Leo hissed in pain as his left arm bumped into something as he rubbed where the pain was. Narrowing his eyes softly, Leonardo reached out and touched the offending object and realized that it was a gardening tool as he groaned.

"Nice going Leo." Leonardo mumbled sarcastically underneath his breath, sighing softly as he carefully moved around. His hands roaming everywhere as Leo's eyes widened at what he was touching before picking the object up in his hands. Right away, Leo knew that he was holding a hammer as a soft smile came on his face.

"If there's a hammer, I wonder if there are any nails laying around." Leonardo asked himself, his mood brightening softly as the revelation alone made his plans a bit easier. Even though he'd have better luck of just accepting the cold weather when it comes, it still wouldn't hurt to try and find some materials and patch what he could.

"Besides, it'll conserve on heating and firewood." Leo said with a small smile, his hand shuffling around on the shelves before wincing at a soft little prick. Carefully, Leonardo moved his hand to the side and carefully picked up the object. His finger lightly rubbing up against the object as a bright smile slowly shifted across his lips, excitement welling up a little. "All right! That's a good thing, okay now I need to find a tarp." Leo said with a hint of excitement. He couldn't believe his luck, finding both nails and a hammer in good condition as Leonardo carefully removed the bin of nails. Carefully shifting the items in his arms, Leo set the two of them on the ground outside and went back to softly shuffling through the small shack.

Before long, Leonardo came out pulling a big blue tarp as his grin was permanently glued to his lips. He couldn't get over his find considering how far back in the shed this stuff was. Carefully moving back into the shed, Leo pulled out some stakes for the tarp and the best find of them; a huge bucket filled with different packets of seeds.

It was almost too much for Leo to handle as he forced himself to relax, chuckling at how stupid he must've looked like at that moment. "Geez, getting so emotional over something like this. How pathetic." Leo said with a wry chuckle, taking a deep breath as he set out on the task of removing the dead and destroyed vegetables.

 _ **TMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNT**_

Leonardo carefully sat up from his kneeled position, groaning as he cracked his back from the hours of working on his garden. The sun's rays were starting to drift away as the night sky came into full bloom, crickets chirping as Leo sat there beside his garden. Rotating his shoulders to get the kinks out, Leonardo carefully stood up as he covered his garden with the tarp securely in case it rained that night. Taking a deep breath, Leo stared softly out in the distance as the wind picked up at that point. His blue mask tails fluttering in the wind as Leonardo closed his eyes; relishing in it as his body relaxed.

 _This day has definitely been an eventful one; never thought that I'd luck out like I did today._ Leo thought softly, his smile slowly slipping away from his lips as his mind trailed back towards the people that he had left behind. To protect them from himself and all of the mistakes that he could bring to them in the possible future, Leonardo knew that this was the best option he could make.

 _But still…I miss you guys. I miss you so much it hurts, but I don't deserve to be with you guys. You all have your own paths to live and having a pathetic older brother shouldn't be in the picture._ Leo thought softly, his fists clenched tightly around the bucket of seeds before softly finding his way back into the house for the night.

 _ **TMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNT**_

 _ **Every brick and every stone; Of the world we made will come undone – Fire and Fury Lyrics by Skillet**_

 _ **TMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNT**_

 **A/N: Oh. My…god! I finished this before my shift! It's a miracle yay! Okay okay, calm down. I know that it was inevitable but I am so proud of this chapter. *Squeals like crazy* It's my longest yet! 13 pages and I just couldn't stop! Okay next chapter is introducing a new character.**

 **And I'll give you a hint hehe!**

 **It's our resident brainiac turtle! Please read and review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _ **A/N: Omg I'm alive. It's a miracle I know but life sadly has a way of kicking you when you're down. So yeah...these past few months have been rough and chaotic. I also just got back from a con (Plus BONUS POINTS: I got to cosplay as Leonardo ) Best thing in the world in my personal opinion since he is amazing.**_

 _ **Oh great now I am fangirling again ugh.**_

 _ **Okay this chapter is different then the others so far; why? Because I said so XD**_

 _ **Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this amazing chapter XD**_

 _ **Summary: All I remember is the sight of my father falling, blood trailing out like a waterfall as I can only stand there in utter shock. The utter satisfaction in her eyes makes my skin crawl, all I could do is watch as she raised her blade to finish the job…. eliminating me. Leo/April completely centered AU**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Ninja Turtles or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, all of it owned by Viacom and Nickelodeon.**_

The sounds of the keyboard typing rapidly broke through the silent lair, pitch darkness enveloped the area as a long figure sat at the desk in the lab portion. Head drooping from sleep but still actively focused on the blaring screen of the computer that broke through the darkness. A heavy yawn left the lips of the purple banded turtle, his left hand coming up to rub at his puffy mahogany eyes as his right hand continued to type like a mad man possessed. Heavy bags were underneath his eyes, evidence of long all nighters as he shifted in his seat slightly.

His eyes darted across the screen, shifting the mouse over as Donnie moved to the left of him to snag at a coffee cup. Lifting it to his lips, his passive gaze shifted to annoyance as he groaned. "Just great...have to brew another mug." Donnie mumbled softly to himself, his eyes never leaving the screen. Clicking on one of the links on the computer, Donnie shifted the mouse over to quickly input a few equations and codes. His old machine buzzed to life as Donnie groaned softly, leaning back to crack and straighten out his back and shoulders.

Stretching his long arms above his head, Donnie didn't stop till he heard the satisfying crack of muscles and bones shifting into place. Leaning his head on the back of his chair, Donnie stared absentmindedly up at the ceiling as his mind continued to run a mile a minute.

"The equations are correct, I just need to figure out the variable. Granted the odds of finding him isn't entirely in my favor and there is a high probability of-AH! I can't think that way! He is alive, I just need to find him." Donnie exclaimed softly, sitting up straight completely while rubbing and scratching his head in annoyance. Images of his older brother being injured severely flashed through his mind but quickly banished at the last second as he mentally slapped himself.

"No more doubt Donnie, you will find him." Donnie muttered softly to himself in a determined tone, his expression shifting to a serious gaze as his typing increased. The more the purple banded turtle focused on the screen, the more aggravated his headache was hurting. It had started out as a slight annoyance but it now quickly developed into a flat out painful reminder of how many days Donnie went without sleep.

 _Ugh...I need coffee. This migraine isn't helping either_ Donnie thought in silent agony, his typing slowed down as he gently leaned back in his chair. The back of his head hitting the top part as Donnie gazed up at the ceiling, his mahogany eyes staring blankly up at it in deep thought. Laying his head back like that, Donnie could feel his eyelids start to droop as his vision started to get blurry.

A loud yawn escaped his lips as Donnie could feel his entire body start to relax at the position he was in. "No..have to stay awake." Donnie mumbled gently, slowly righting himself as another yawn slipped past his lips. Tears forming at the edge of his eyes as Donnie softly rubbed at them both, effectively rubbing his all ready sore and red eyes again.

Out of nowhere, in the depths of his quiet lab a familiar sound drifted through as it snapped Donnie out of his daze as he stared owlishly around. "W-What? Oh! Shit the T-Phone!" Donnie exclaimed, his mind shifting to full on alert as he turned to the right side of him. As he did that, his right elbow knocked into the huge pile of coffee cups that, out of boredom and a break from his never ending struggle to find Leonardo, had painstakingly complied all of his used paper coffee cups into a tower.

"God damn it! I don't need this, and why the hell did I do this anyway?!" Donnie exclaimed, eyes wide at the sheer idiocy that he had conjured up at this. His right hand feeling around on the desk among the many coffee cups, hearing the familiar ringtone blaring and trembling as a bright smile split across Donnie's lips.

"Got it! I really need to organize this desk a bit more." Donnie said with a sheepish smile, softly shifting the phone to look at it as his eyes widened at the image on his screen as he quickly touched the call button.

"Doctor Rockwell, have you found him?" Donnie asked right away, his concern evident in his voice as he recalled the last conversation the two of them had. Ever since Leonardo had disappeared, Donnie knew that he was being dependent on the Mighty Mutanimals more and more each day while he focused on the data surfing more than the physical side of things.

"I apologize for the late report Donatello," Doctor Rockwell's voice broke through the phone as a soft sigh could be heard coming out from the chimp's lips. "It has become quite chaotic on the streets with the Purple Dragon's still prowling around at this point." he said calmly as Donnie's expression shifted to concern. "As for your question Donatello, I regret to inform you that we've failed to find him this time. We've searched high and low for him throughout the city," Rockwell said softly, the heavy feeling in Donnie's gut dipping into a dark abyss as the reality of Rockwell's words hit him hard.

"But yet, we haven't found a single trace of him." Rockwell followed up with as Donnie shot up from his seat, his hand slamming down on the desk with a huge amount of force. "I'm sorry Doctor Rockwell, but that can't be the end of it. I know my brother, he wouldn't just disappear into thin air like this!" Donnie said urgently, his eye wide as an image of his brother's slowly disappearing body going into the dark abyss could be visibly seen in his mind.

Silence could be heard on the other side of the phone as Donnie spoke this, his body tense with determination and desperation. Taking a deep breath, Donnie turned around where he stood and started to walk around. "Raph still hasn't contacted me in the past six months, granted it had been pretty hectic since we last talked but I know Raph. If he found Leo, he would've contacted me. I know I'm asking a lot for you and the Mighty Mutanimals but please, please give it one more try." Donnie said softly, his pacing slowing to a stop as tears could be felt on the edges of his eyes. Biting his lip to refrain from busting into tears, Donnie did his best to compose himself as he awaited Rockwell's answer.

"I understand your concern Donatello," Rockwell's voice came through the phone, laced with concern and sadness that Donnie didn't think that Rockwell could possess as a deep sigh soon followed. "Give us about a week to recover, I understand that you want to continue the search as soon as possible but we've all been running ourselves ragged with both patrols and searching for Leonardo." he said softly as Donnie bit back his initial reaction to the news.

"Yes, of course please rest up. All of you have been a huge help for us and I can't thank you enough." Donnie said sincerely as a soft chuckle went through the phone. "I'll remember that the next time that you need another favor from a brilliant scientist such as myself." Rockwell's voice went through the phone as Donnie's expression shifted to a playfully annoyed gaze. "Thanks Doctor, I will." he said in a dry tone before the two of them hung up, Donnie's figure slumped slightly from him standing up as he took a deep sigh.

His mahogany gaze drifted down to his desk; his body cracking as Donnie shifted over and sat down on his chair. The familiar sound of the chair creaking as he relaxed in it, Donnie's mind still running a mile a minute as he let out another deep breath of air. Out of the corner of his eyes, Donnie caught sight of a familiar object underneath his mess of paperwork and formulas.

Digging his hand underneath, Donnie withdrew a dusty T-Phone with a crack in the screen. Guilt started to well up in his gut at seeing the crack, remembering the day that both Raph and himself drove Leo away. Biting his lip at the memory, Donnie tried to calm down despite his eyes starting to mist over. "Get a grip Donatello," Donnie told himself with a soft chuckle. "You need to focus on finding him. It's the only way to make it up to Leo."

His gaze shifted up to his diagrams and hypothesis of the possible locations where Leonardo could've ran off to. Having searched high and low for each of them only to come up empty was a heartbreaking experience but it just made Donnie even more determined to find his brother. His hands curling around Leo's T-Phone tightly, mentally wishing that the phone itself could magically bring his brother home.

"Gahh! I just keep running around in circles and getting no where." Donnie said in an aggravated tone, laying his head back in his chair as he stared up at the ceiling. His stomach growling constantly since this morning, knowing that eventually Donnie would have to get up and make his stomach shut up for once. But with no food in his system, Donnie could feel the effects of the constant all nighters hitting him as he yawned loudly.

He could practically feel how heavy his eyelids were, it was almost like someone was pulling them close. It was taking all of Donnie's energy to keep them open, his right hand coming up to sleepily rub at his eyes again. Another huge yawn following soon afterward as Donnie could feel his jaw cracking at the action. "No..can't sleep just yet." Donnie mumbled gently, his conscious slowly slipping away as the battle for control was shifting in favor of sleep.

It was almost like clockwork as a loud obnoxious noise ripped through the air, practically shattering the silence enveloping the lab as Donnie almost fell out of his chair in shock. His hands scrambling for his desk, his chair falling backwards as Donnie practically slammed himself onto his desk. Clutching it like a life line as his dead lifeless eyes practically flew open like saucers, Donnie's head whipping around like crazy. "I-I'm up! I'm up! I didn't fall asleep! Nope, wide awake!" Donnie exclaimed frantically as his heart started beating like crazy.

Donnie started to rub his eyes again, groaning softly at the soreness developing around them before awkwardly fumbling around. Lifting his head up, Donnie could see the faint blinking on his computer as his tired mind scrambled for a bit before remembering his little brother's big grin filtering through his mind.

Before Donnie could even process it, his hand lifted up to push a button on his computer as it activated the dimensional communicator, silencing the obnoxious sound as a large projector like screen came out from a sphere like device that was connected to his computer. Almost like a machine was booting up, the screen turned white before bringing in color as a pair of baby blue eyes were pushed up against the screen. As if trying to see through the screen as much as possible as a shit-eating grin soon followed afterward.

"Hey D! What up?! It's been so long since I've seen you bro," a familiar green turtle was visible as Donnie couldn't help but chuckle at his younger brother's greeting. The loneliness in his heart was quickly disappearing at seeing Mikey again. "Hold on a minute, D when did you last eat?" Mikey asked, his jovial tone quickly leaving as his baby blue eyes narrowed in irritation at taking in his older brother.

Quickly replacing the calm atmosphere, Donnie's smile turned into a sheepish one as he awkwardly looked off to the side before meeting his brother. "U-Um since the night before. But it's okay, I'm not even-." Donnie started to say but was quickly silenced by his stomach growling loudly. "Hahaha! Oh man your stomach failed you on that! But seriously," Mikey said firmly after laughing a little. "Go and grab yourself a slice of pizza or something. I'm worried about you dude, you look like you haven't slept in weeks or even days!" Mikey expressed quite clearly as Donnie rubbed his arm softly, knowing that his younger brother was just being worried. His mahogany eyes looked down at his feet in shame at the fact that he probably did look horrible, considering how Donnie was looking at his brother and seeing how healthy he looked. Especially considering how Mikey was only 24 and looking even healthier then when he first left Earth to travel with Renet.

"Okay, I'll go grab some curry quickly." Donnie promised with a smile, giving a soft wave to his brother as he headed towards the kitchen. Everything was still in its place since everyone left, Donnie barely needing to worry about the overload of dishes or generally staying in the room itself other then to make coffee or grab a quick bite to eat. He couldn't help but think about all of the family dinners they had, his eyes bristling with tears at the memory as Donnie quickly started pulling out pots and pans.

 _Oh shoot, almost forgot about the magic elixir here_ Donnie thought to himself, a soft smirk slid across his face as he turned on the coffee pot. The sweet smell of his favorite beverage started to drift around the area as it helped with his tears a bit, helping him focus on the task at hand. It wasn't long before Donnie was finishing up on his dish, his mind still going in circles at what he still needed to do. "I wonder if I could contact-." Donnie mumbled out loud before a certain someone came into his mind, making his hand on the pan stop moving. It was as if a light bulb went on in his mind, the mere thought of forgetting about her was hard enough to believe as his eyes darted side to side.

"I-I could ask April," Donnie said softly before quickly remembering as he shook his head. "N-No I couldn't, she never did give me her new phone number and besides she's probably all ready got her hands full keeping Casey in line." Donnie said softly, his grip on the pan's handle tightening at remembering the young girl that stumbled into his life nine years ago.

Donnie could still remember how beautiful April was when he first laid eyes on her, knowing that this random chance meeting was more then that. It was almost hard to believe how close they had become, it practically made his heart soar every time they were around each other.

 _And yet, I lost. I lost to him of all people_ Donnie thought bitterly, the sounds of his brother in the background echoing as he talked with his girlfriend kept the purple banded turtle focused on the present but still allowed the memories to resurface. _It was inevitable though, Casey was able to give her a normal life. She deserved it after everything that had happened._ Donnie thought as he signed outwardly, shifting the sauce onto a plate of rice that had been prepared before grabbing the plate and his coffee as he headed back towards his lab.

 _I knew that I was setting myself up for disappointment anyway, but it just seemed too good to be true._ Donnie thought, his feet softly shuffling across the living room leading to his lab as mahogany eyes landed on the vacant living room. Staring over at the TV, Donnie could almost picture his older brother sitting in front of it with his entire attention on the new episode of Space Heroes.

A big grin on his face as he took in the corny show with the eyes of a child as that thought alone caused Donnie to bite his lip in sadness. His grip on his coffee cup tightened as Donnie's mahogany eyes looked over at the couch, almost making out the muscular form of his other older brother. Raph calmly sitting on the couch watching Leo with an amused look while pampering his pet Chompy.

 _I need to snap out of it, this isn't helping me at all and besides, Mikey is waiting for me in the lab_ Donnie mentally berated himself as he shook his head before quickly turning his back on the memories, wanting to keep facing ahead and figuring out what to do next.

As soon as Donnie sat down, Mikey immediately pounced up as Renet silently moved away from the communicator. Ever the hyperactive one, Donnie could see his brother softly bouncing in place as Mikey watched him chow down. "Oooh! Curry, man I miss that! Almost as much as I miss pizza." Mikey said excitedly, his feet kicking back and forth.

That comment made Donnie's innate curiosity perk up as he looked around at what was behind Mikey. "You're not in Italy anymore?" he asked curiously, the excitement in Mikey's expression quickly disappeared. "No, stupid Lord Simultaneous wanted Renet to go to another place and time period entirely. I didn't even get to try a genuine Italian pizza or a cal zone! It was so horrible!" Mikey replied overly dramatic at the trauma he just witnessed.

That comment alone made Donnie roll his eyes and let out a chuckle at his brother's own misfortune, his food all ready almost finished as he took a sip of his coffee. Casually glancing up from his plate, Donnie couldn't help noticing a distinct difference in his brother's appearance. "Hey Mike," Donnie said as Mikey stopped what he was saying to pay attention. "You've grown taller since I've last seen you." he pointed out with a smile as Mikey's smile widened at the observation.

"Ah! So you've finally noticed? I know right! I'm about as tall as Leo back when he was fifteen. I think I'm even taller then Raph now." Mikey said happily as Donnie couldn't help but chuckle, the tightening in his gut following soon afterwards at hearing his older sibling's name but he knew that Mikey was just being honest on the matter. He also noticed that Mikey's muscles had become more prominent then before, a clear indication that he was still keeping up with his training.

"Raph can't call me pipsqueak anymore now! Heck, I might even be able to use him as an arm rest now." Mikey said with a mischievous laugh, his mind all ready quickly shifting into his pranking state of mind. A cheerful laugh soon slipped past Donnie's lips, knowing that Raph was in for quite the surprise whenever he decided to stop by.

"You do realize that he'll still find a way to call you that. To him, you're his pipsqueak younger brother." Donnie brought up as Mikey's lips shifted into a pout as he crossed his arms in front of him. "Yeah yeah, the jerk always finds a way to win battles." he mumbled softly before Mikey looked off to the side, almost as if he was in deep contemplation.

"D," Mikey said softly as Donnie looked up from putting a spoonful of curry in his mouth. "Speaking of Raph, has he tried contacting you recently?" he asked gently as Donnie's hand tightened around his spoon before gently pulling it out and looked off to the side. "No, not since he checked out Dimension X for us. He's been with Mona from what I've heard," Donnie stated simply as he shifted his food around on his plate. "Nothing else sadly that I can tell you."

"He probably still needs some time alone," Mikey suggested gently, his baby blue eyes softening into his adorable puppy gaze. "Or he's on a planet outside of communication range."

Donnie's attention snapped back to his little brother's saddened tone; knowing that a change of subject was in order. "I'm sure he'll contact us soon, I wouldn't worry too much about Raph." Donnie stated calmly, wanting to divert the conversation. "You and Renet still planning on staying in that dimension for a while?" Donnie asked curiously, noting that it looked like different planet in the solar system.

"Y-Yeah! Renet told me all about the different kinds of sports they have around here! I was hoping on checking it out and showing them my sick skateboarding moves!" Mikey bragged with a proud tone to it, Donnie rolling his eyes a bit at his brother's cockiness.

Seeing Mikey's smile grow brighter at the change of subject, made Donnie's mood lift a little higher every time that Mikey spoke as they conversed back and forth with each other happily.

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Donnie groaned softly, leaning back in his chair as he cracked his shoulders again. Having just disconnected his call with Mikey, Donnie could feel his mood lighting up a bit at the mere thought of his baby brother. His mahogany eyes slowly opened up, staring at the ceiling for a while as he processed the conversation that the two of them had together. Idle small talk at best but it was enough to help each other out even if it was just a little bit.

A soft sigh left his lips, an object to his right catching his eye as Donnie reached over and gently grasped Leo's T-Phone again. His thumb lightly touched the crack on it as the memory of when his brother threw it on the ground in anger flashed through his mind. "Everybody misses you; they just want to make sure that you're okay." Donnie said softly to himself and to the phone as his hand curled tighter around the phone. The memories of his family still together, both the good and the bad filtering as he held the phone tightly. The many battles and constant life or death moments that had happened in their lives kept flooding through, the allies they had both gained and lost as the end result of the nine year war.

 _Nine long years, of both fighting the Shredder and being apart from one another. We drove the Kraang back for good and the Foot Clan retreated back to Japan, with Shredder's head disappearing into the dark abyss of the last war we had_ Donnie thought back to their final battle, shuddering at how bloody it had gotten and how everyone pushed themselves to the limit.

"Especially you," Donnie said softly, Leo coming to mind as he remembered staring at Leo's back as he looked out at the battle ground. "You were always standing so strong, it was almost like you were a statue that couldn't be moved."

Leo's name slipping past his lips caused Donnie's to tremble, knowing that the pain had to come out some time. It had to come out and be heard and it was taking Donnie everything he had to keep it at bay, but now it was becoming unbearable. Almost as if it was perfect timing, Donnie's cell went off at that moment as he let out a surprised yelp before groaning loudly.

"Geez, snap out of it Donnie. Dr. Rockwell doesn't need any incentive to give you his 'honest' opinion on the matter." Donne grumbled softly to himself, too focused on composing himself to look at his caller I.D.

"Did you manage to find any clues Doc?" Donnie asked softly, massaging his temples lightly to help ease the tension out of them. His migraine still pulsating inside as Donnie relaxed into his chair. It was eerily quiet on the other side of the line, almost making Donnie worry that something bad had happened or had come up.

The silence felt like it was going to drag on forever so Donnie got ready to say something else when a familiar voice rang through the phone. "Donnie? It's me, April." the voice drifted through the speakers as Donnie practically felt his heart stop in his chest, his mind going blank for several minutes. It was almost too good to be true, and especially after he had started thinking about her too. His hand tightened around his T-Phone as Donnie struggled to get the words out clearly. "A-April?" Donnie asked again, wanting to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating or that this wasn't a dream.

"Heh, yes it's me."

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" **But it was perfect timing, in this dark room, you led me to the light." - Hurts – Song: Perfect Timing**

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 **A/N: I HAVE FINISHED! Multiple and I mean multiple nights of me staring at my outline and trying to figure out HOW TO WORD THIS CHAPTER! Donnie is so difficult to get into his state of mind but I think I finally got it! So yes, a new character has finally shown up and hopefully, get this story really going XD**

 **Read and Review please!**


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